Many, many thanks for sharing this. It’s beautifully written (an ever rarer encounter in the LLM age). As someone who lost his father 4 years ago (though my dad was confounded by technology), I think guilt of the “could I have done more” sort is common, and, well — I think what you say is right, your dad might well have found another way to justify what sounds like a pre-existing resistance to medical expertise. That resistance, and his determination to self-diagnose, may have been a bid for the control he felt had otherwise slipped from him. Anyway, I just mean to say, I very much doubt you fell short in your care for him. Thanks again for sharing.
Thank you for sharing that thought, Steve -- and my sympathies to you as well, there's nothing really that prepares you for the loss of a parent. I wish my father had been more confounded by tech!
Thank you for sharing your grief and turning it into meaning. We can get so wrapped up in rather academic pros and cons discussions when it comes to AI, I think illuminating the real human cost when it comes to misinformation is really important. I will keep you in my thoughts.
I am so, so sorry that this happened. You have so beautifully captured the complexity, the painful feelings and the deep love that you felt for him. We are all so vulnerable in many ways. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you for writing this. I have a close family member with CLL, and it worries me when I see them looking up health information using the AI summary in Google. Thankfully no signs that they're ignoring the advice of doctors. I've sent this article to them.
My condolences. I also lost my father in a fashion that involved some ambiguously causal impact from an atypical, unnatural, and controversial source, and deciding “how much to weigh that” was a significant part of the immediate aftermath. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you for your words of support Mills, though I'm sorry to hear about your father. I have thick empathy for your experience and hope you've found a means of coping with the complexity.
I’m so sorry to hear your story. This must be incredibly hard to bare. I lost my dad 4 years ago. He suffered from an unusual illness (sarcoidosis) and was prone to theories that might have been unhelpful. I think it’s not unusual when you’re in pain to operate from a place of fear. I can only imagine how this might have been amplified by AI had it hit the mainstream at the time. Yours is a really important story to tell about the perils of this new power which is so unchecked. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your kind words Anna, though I'm sorry to hear you lost your dad. I agree that it's hard if not impossible to disentangle cause and effect here, but that is precisely what makes the current situation so frustrating, we don't know what or whom to hold responsible.
So true. There is a lot of skirting of responsibility by these new platforms. I’m not an AI detractor I use it loads and it’s supporting the direction I’m taking with my business but we definitely need a more considered perspective. That’s why I like your Substack you might enjoy mine too.
Thank you for sharing his story and yours. I don't "heart" all of this suffering, but I do appreciate your reflection, care, and craft to tell his story well.
Ben - I'm sorry for your loss and appreciate your willingness to share this story. I'm sure there are many others like it out there which is all the more reason to increase awareness.
Thanks Stephen, I do wonder how many other families are experiencing something like this with (relatively) tech-savvy elderly relatives. Let's increase some awareness together soon, yeah?
this was a heartbreaking a deeply affecting read. I am in awe of your enduring empathy and perspective during such a challenging time. please accept an internet stranger’s condolences, and thank you for writing.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Cameran -- they mean a lot. I've also subscribed to your newsletter so in time perhaps we will be slightly less "Internet strange" to each other. Thank you for reading, and writing too.
Thank you for sharing your insight and experiences, although we will never meet, the words touched me and aid in my own understanding of life as I navigate that. I am sorry for your loss and wish you endless content as you continue with the year, and subsequent years to follow. Take care.
Thank you for your kind words Raafeh, I am touched to know that my father's story provided some aid in undestanding what you're navigating. I deeply appreciate it, thank you again.
I am sorry you and your father had to go through this. There is a peculiar helplessness in watching a highly-educated, highly-intelligent person double down on odd delusions, to their own detriment. I am seeing it with an old family friend.
Thanks for listening, that means a lot. But I am sorry to hear about the family friend. Unfortunately, I think there's quite a bit of what I've started to think of as "intelligence regression" going on from using these tools for things they are not well suited for.
I'm so sorry for your loss, it's such a tragedy... And thank you for sharing this, it gives new perspective on AI.
It demonstrates that even a person who knows how to use AI and not to trust AI blindly and has analytical mindset can be wronged by AI. When I do "factchecking" I am usually satisfied on the point where AI gives me some scientific articles. I don't have expertise to understand these articles, so I trust AI interpretation. No one usually reaches the level of fact checking that you described -- to reach out to authors of these articles. So how we can actually "check" what AI is saying us as we all know we should...
Thank you for your kind words. And you're exactly right, the entire value proposition of these tools lies in being able to use them *without* having to check their output. It's really vexatious that Big Tech claims otherwise.
To have this level of perspective in this situation is deeply admiring. I am sorry for your father’s passing. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Miguel, I missed your kind comment earlier. I appreciate it now.
I'm so sorry. I appreciate your willingness to share, and I so appreciate your work.
Thank you James, that means a lot.
Many, many thanks for sharing this. It’s beautifully written (an ever rarer encounter in the LLM age). As someone who lost his father 4 years ago (though my dad was confounded by technology), I think guilt of the “could I have done more” sort is common, and, well — I think what you say is right, your dad might well have found another way to justify what sounds like a pre-existing resistance to medical expertise. That resistance, and his determination to self-diagnose, may have been a bid for the control he felt had otherwise slipped from him. Anyway, I just mean to say, I very much doubt you fell short in your care for him. Thanks again for sharing.
Thank you for sharing that thought, Steve -- and my sympathies to you as well, there's nothing really that prepares you for the loss of a parent. I wish my father had been more confounded by tech!
This is a story written with heart. I am so sorry you have lost your father.
Thank you for your kind words, I am deeply grateful.
Thank you for sharing your grief and turning it into meaning. We can get so wrapped up in rather academic pros and cons discussions when it comes to AI, I think illuminating the real human cost when it comes to misinformation is really important. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Rebecca, and recognizing the essential humanity of my efforts here.
I am so, so sorry that this happened. You have so beautifully captured the complexity, the painful feelings and the deep love that you felt for him. We are all so vulnerable in many ways. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you Kate, I am grateful for your kind words and recognition of my love for my dad.
Thank you for writing this. I have a close family member with CLL, and it worries me when I see them looking up health information using the AI summary in Google. Thankfully no signs that they're ignoring the advice of doctors. I've sent this article to them.
Thank you, Sharon, I hope this article helps in the cause. Stay diligent!
My condolences. I also lost my father in a fashion that involved some ambiguously causal impact from an atypical, unnatural, and controversial source, and deciding “how much to weigh that” was a significant part of the immediate aftermath. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you for your words of support Mills, though I'm sorry to hear about your father. I have thick empathy for your experience and hope you've found a means of coping with the complexity.
I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing. Hope you recover from the pain of loss very soon.
Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me.
I’m so sorry to hear your story. This must be incredibly hard to bare. I lost my dad 4 years ago. He suffered from an unusual illness (sarcoidosis) and was prone to theories that might have been unhelpful. I think it’s not unusual when you’re in pain to operate from a place of fear. I can only imagine how this might have been amplified by AI had it hit the mainstream at the time. Yours is a really important story to tell about the perils of this new power which is so unchecked. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your kind words Anna, though I'm sorry to hear you lost your dad. I agree that it's hard if not impossible to disentangle cause and effect here, but that is precisely what makes the current situation so frustrating, we don't know what or whom to hold responsible.
So true. There is a lot of skirting of responsibility by these new platforms. I’m not an AI detractor I use it loads and it’s supporting the direction I’m taking with my business but we definitely need a more considered perspective. That’s why I like your Substack you might enjoy mine too.
Plus my mum is a retired librarian strange
coincidences.
Thank you for sharing his story and yours. I don't "heart" all of this suffering, but I do appreciate your reflection, care, and craft to tell his story well.
That's very kind of you to say Scott, thank you.
Ben - I'm sorry for your loss and appreciate your willingness to share this story. I'm sure there are many others like it out there which is all the more reason to increase awareness.
Thanks Stephen, I do wonder how many other families are experiencing something like this with (relatively) tech-savvy elderly relatives. Let's increase some awareness together soon, yeah?
this was a heartbreaking a deeply affecting read. I am in awe of your enduring empathy and perspective during such a challenging time. please accept an internet stranger’s condolences, and thank you for writing.
Thank you so much for your kind words, Cameran -- they mean a lot. I've also subscribed to your newsletter so in time perhaps we will be slightly less "Internet strange" to each other. Thank you for reading, and writing too.
Thank you for sharing your insight and experiences, although we will never meet, the words touched me and aid in my own understanding of life as I navigate that. I am sorry for your loss and wish you endless content as you continue with the year, and subsequent years to follow. Take care.
Thank you for your kind words Raafeh, I am touched to know that my father's story provided some aid in undestanding what you're navigating. I deeply appreciate it, thank you again.
Your dad's wake playlist slaps.
I am sorry you and your father had to go through this. There is a peculiar helplessness in watching a highly-educated, highly-intelligent person double down on odd delusions, to their own detriment. I am seeing it with an old family friend.
Thanks for listening, that means a lot. But I am sorry to hear about the family friend. Unfortunately, I think there's quite a bit of what I've started to think of as "intelligence regression" going on from using these tools for things they are not well suited for.
I'm so sorry for your loss, it's such a tragedy... And thank you for sharing this, it gives new perspective on AI.
It demonstrates that even a person who knows how to use AI and not to trust AI blindly and has analytical mindset can be wronged by AI. When I do "factchecking" I am usually satisfied on the point where AI gives me some scientific articles. I don't have expertise to understand these articles, so I trust AI interpretation. No one usually reaches the level of fact checking that you described -- to reach out to authors of these articles. So how we can actually "check" what AI is saying us as we all know we should...
Thank you for your kind words. And you're exactly right, the entire value proposition of these tools lies in being able to use them *without* having to check their output. It's really vexatious that Big Tech claims otherwise.